I decided to kick off my new blog with a provocative title, guaranteed to garner a little google-curiosity. For what better way to begin our journey into our essential Crackerness than with an authentic photo of a gigantic Pentecostal homecoming spread, circa 1978, in Ocala, Florida? For the uninitiated, “homecoming” is a purely Protestant invention, usually held in October, supposedly to celebrate the return of old church members, but in reality just another reason to over-eat. As Pentecostals, we were denied much fleshly pleasure. What we missed in terms of lasciviousness, we made up for in fried chicken.

I like this picture in that it is a perfect snap shot of the hierarchy in Cracker religious life. You’re looking down the main food table, longways. You have your good Pentecostal women serving around the edges, while front and center, the preacher (our beloved Brother T. Carl Thompson) and his worthy deacons (that’s daddy just right, with a great boarding house reach) wade in, first in line. Contrary to scripture, I might add. Truth be told, the notion of ”the last shall be first” never seemed to apply in the food line.

Since I was always fast on my feet, you can get a glimpse of me at the very far left, in striped shirt and big hair. I was seventeen at the time and an old hand at church feeds. My friend Janet and I had inched up close during the blessing, hoping to hit the table before the good fried chicken was gone. If you note the size of the deacons, you’ll see that it wasn’t a completely baseless fear. Also note the table loaded with Tupperware, which indicates home made delights. Nowadays, church suppers are pretty heavily weighted with deli cakes and a whole lot of Colonel Sanders - not that I’m complaining. The Colonel and I go back a long ways. Far be it from me to offend him.

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Welcome to Cracker Kitchen.

Janis Owens

Meanwhile, excuse the mess — as they say.

–Valerie

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Coca Cola Pot Roast
5 pounds (more or less) beef roast
12 ounces Coca Cola
1 package dry onion soup mix
1. Put your roast in a baking dish and sprinkle with soup mixture.
2. Add Coca Cola, then cover and bake for 350 degrees for two hours.

Serves 10

Seven Layer Salad

1 head iceberg lettuce
1 cup chopped purple onion
1 cup chopped green pepper
1 cup chopped celery
1 package frozen young green peas
8 ounces shredded sharp cheddar cheese
1 cup mayonnaise

1. Shred head of lettuce into half-inch slices, then put in large salad dish as first layer.
2. Add layer of onions, then green pepper, celeery, peas (still frozen) and cover entirely with mayonnaise.
3. Cover with shredded cheese.
4. Seal and refrigerate over night before serving.

Serves 6